“Well, fuck.”
“We have discussed this many times in the past few weeks, there is nothing more to do.”
“Like I said: fuck.”
“It’s okay, when I met you I told you this was a possibility and what would happen if it did. I will leave the country tomorrow. You can sell everything –which is why they are in your name– and live a life free from money worry.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“What are you cross about? We discussed this.”
“I remember you said this could happen and that you would leave the country and me. I do not remember, however, agreeing.”
“WHAT?!”
“You heard me perfectly well. I never agreed.”
“But all these years, thinking we were in agreement over what I would say is bloody important and you are telling me now?!”
“Well, I knew you would react this way and there was no point, was there?”
“There is a bloody point now! I will not have you leave everything and run away. You haven’t done anything. I promised I would always protect you. THIS IS ME PROTECTING YOU. This is why we never got married!”
I don’t think I have ever seen you in this state. You are facing criminal charges and prison and it’s because I tell you that I want to leave the country and run away with you that you break down. I mean, really?
“I won’t leave you. That’s final. If that means running away, then so be it. Maybe this way we can get married finally!”
“You are NOT leaving everything for me. I won’t have it. I have to know that you will be safe. I cannot break my promise.”
“I am safest with you. It has always been this way. How can you be so nonchalant about leaving me?”
“I am not… I don’t… God you are enfuriating!”
“Why? Because I want to be with you?”
“I want to be with you too! That isn’t in question here!”
“It is if you want to leave me! You didn’t kill anybody, Mark. You are a good person, this doesn’t change the way I feel about you!”
“Well maybe it should! I don’t know how to live with what I did, how can you? I do not want you there if and when I figure it out.”
“Yes you do. You know you will need me there to tell you the things you do not dare tell yourself.”
“Only you can do that…”
“Yes. Now, let’s take it step by step. First one is to make some calls and start packing.”
A pause. We both breathe in deeply.
“I hate you.” You finally say.
I smile. “No you don’t.”
We both smile. A pause. The longest.
“Since there is no changing your mind, clearly, I have a question.”
“Now? Are you fucking joking? If you ask about my scar again I will be really cross! I told you I would not say a word about it.”
“It’s not about that, for fuck’s sake! I want to ask you if you will marry me!”
“That didn’t sound like a question. It was more like a statement.”
“Bloody hell! You and your sense of proper talking! Will you marry me yes or no?”
“Yes, yes I will.”
“You will?”
“Of course I will. I love you.”
You take me into your arms and lift me.
“Thank fucking god. Me too.”