Céline Siret

—¿Se puede saber por qué tienes un moratón en el pómulo? —Me pegó el amor. —¿Cómo? —Me dieron una leche de amor. —¿Te va el BDSM ahora o qué? ¿Estás viendo a otra persona aparte de a mí? —Ninguna de las dos cosas. Es solo que un perro me pegó …

“Maybe, against all odds, I still haven’t lost hope.” “That’s bollocks. You put my surname in my contact info in your phone.” “How the hell did you know that?” “I saw it earlier when you showed me a message from our conversation.” “Oh.” “I can’t believe you would do that. …

“When you are a grown woman, is it still ‘fangirling’? I mean, I get it, the phenomenon is usually when you are a teenager and daydream about the artists. They are just like you and by golly would you be great together! But I am thirtysomething and I still do …

I am leaving the gorgeous 5-star hotel lobby and crossing the beautiful and well-cared for garden and terrace restaurant. The weather is lovely, I am wearing a light jacket and a smile on my face that shows my meeting went well. I just signed a new client! And this kind …

Me pongo tu camiseta para dormir porque es lo único que me queda de ti. Es la única manera que tengo de sentirte cerca, de tener la sensación de que todavía existes. De saber que no fuiste cosa de mi imaginación, que tú y yo fuimos. Y joder, cómo fuimos. …

“You know those days that you go to bed early just to be done with it?” “Yes, I’ve had a few.” “Well, what do you think happens when after that you also have a bad night?” “It happened again?” “It did.” “I’ll fetch the alcohol and the icecream.”

“Why did you get a blueberry tattooed?” “Not all tattoos have meaning.” “They usually do.” “Well, that’s bullshit. You cannot honestly say that all the tattoos that you see on people have profound meaning! I mean, have you seen what’s out there? I have seen dicks and arseholes for Pete’s …

“You are single now, aren’t you?” “That is none of your business.” “Very true. Sorry. I sometimes speak before I think.” “It’s fine.” “No. It’s not. I don’t know you much and I asked you a deeply personal question. And in that backwards manner which made it sound mean. It …

“You used to play tennis, didn’t you?” “There is no way you could have known that just by observing.” “I like observing you.” “And I like it when you do but there is no way you could deduce that. How did you?” “I’m not telling you.” “Why not?!” “Because, one …

– El otro día vi Un homme et une femme y me dije que joder, estas cosas a mí no me pasan. – ¿Es otra de tus historias? – Puede. ¿Por qué? ¿No te gustan mis historias? – No. Sí, sí. Es solo por saber. Perdona. Sigue. – Bueno, no es mucha historia …

“I was scared, alright?!” “Scared of what, for god’s sake?!” “Scared of you. Scared of the possibility. Scared of it. Of us. In a world where suffering is the norm and sadness is mostly present, I found you, a beacon you were so bright. And it’s bloody scary.” “This world …

“You know, I was just —just— starting to think that I may start liking you.” I can hear the tone of slight regret. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that but clearly I am being more transparent than I want. You look at me in shock (or …

“The only reason I am still here, fighting, is because you are the only Brit with normal teeth.” “Oh, really? Well the only reason I am here, fighting back, is because nobody is a bloody cheek like you!” “Aye? Then it’s settled, then! We’ll stay together!” “Fine.” “Fine!”

Some years ago today two pieces of my heart left. One was forever. One was temporary. I am still missing those pieces, incapable of coming to terms with the definite one, unable to believe the temporary became permanent. A heart that isn’t whole isn’t a heart —or so they say. …

“I’m not a crazy fan. I mean, I am crazy. And I am a fan. But I’m not a crazy fan.” “Erm… You are holding my vinyl so I can sign it and you are wearing my t-shirt.” “Well, yes. My tits look good in this t-shirt and well, might …