“Yes. I think it’s totally normal for you to feel confused.”
“Where is this coming from?”
Where does it come from? Here we are, on the sofa, naked, enjoying each other’s company. What chain of thought made you arrive at this one?
“Well, look at this tattoo. It says to think more than to say –I’m paraphrasing here from what you have told me since I don’t speak Spanish.”
A pause. You stroke my skin where the ink has been present for so long it doesn’t even remember a day when the phrase wasn’t there.
“And then, this.” You point at my other tattoo on my ribs, just under my breast. “Again, paraphrasing since I don’t speak Icelandic –why you speak Icelandic I have always wondered. ‘Don’t think’ So, which one is it? To think or not to think?”
“You sound a bit like Hamlet there, my love.”
“Well? Are you going to comment any further?”
“I am not confused.”
“Maybe confused is not the term I should have used. Still. Elaborate.”
“I believe everything and everyone is a contradiction. This can be confusing for some people. Not for me. I get confused about many things, but not about the fact that I do not deal in absolutes, they are always gray areas.”
“And to simultaneously think more than saying and not to think is a gray area?”
“Everything is.” I say with a cheeky smile.
“That sounds very much like an absolute.”
“Hence the cheeky smile. You see, I believe you can both not think and think more than you say.” I sigh. I see that you are not satisfied with my reply. “Fine. The one in Spanish says to think more than to say, yes. It alludes to thinking before speaking. To give the best possible form to a message.”
I pause. That last part defines many aspects of my life.
“And the Icelandic one?”
“It speaks to stop overthinking which, as you know by now, I do a lot. But mostly the tattoo is there because it’s the title of a song from an Icelandic artist. And that artist saved my life.”
“Wait. What?!” You are genuinely shocked. Which is why I do not tell this story. “What do you mean he saved your life? Who is he? Do you know him? How did he save your life? Is this why you speak Icelandic? How have I known you all this time and not know this about you?”
“I do not publicise this about me. And yes, this is one of the reasons why I learnt Icelandic. You can stop wondering now.”
“And the other questions? And the other reasons?”
“Are not important at this time, my love. Please, no more thinking. Or talking -unless it’s with our bodies.”
“Maybe I should get that tattoed.”
“Maybe. If you do, you know where I want it to be.”
No other words were uttered for the rest of the night.